The new Maserati Kubang

This video is brilliant until 2.07. This is because - cheesy American power-pop aside - it features some of the most beautiful and desirable Maseratis of recent years in all their V8-howling, motorsport-winning, marina-cruising glory.

Moving pictures of the next premium SUV to dominate the nation's Premier League carparks

This video is brilliant until 2.07. This is because - cheesy American power-pop aside - it features some of the most beautiful and desirable Maseratis of recent years in all their V8-howling, motorsport-winning, marina-cruising glory.

Then the new Maserati Kubang hoves into view, and it goes a bit downhill.

OK, we're being slightly facetious. But the announcement of a new Maserati should be an unalloyed cause for celebration, and when it turns out to be a premium SUV named Kubang aimed squarely at footballers and the entire county of Cheshire, that's disappointing.

We don't blame them: the Cayenne is the best-selling Porsche by some margin, and its success has dumped millions into the German marque's coffers to ensure a future supply of awesome performance cars.

That's presumably the plan at Maserati, and it's a sensible one. So we'll just have to hang fire for the announcement of the next new Maserati to get our respective roots fizzing.

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